Not That You Asked...

Friday, February 12, 2010

Okay, maybe this is cheating a little, but I'd like to share portions of an email I recently sent to a friend of mine. Is that cheating? Well, it's my blog, right? Actually, some emails are just impeccably timed. You see, I've wanted to document the last five years of my life for some time. Make it official or something. Truth is, I took a long sabbatical from pen-paper journaling. It was a conscious decision at the time, but it is one that I now regret. In a small effort to reclaim portions of those lost years,* you know, for my not-yet-existing posterity, I need to start writing. This is only part of my story, huge chunks have been omitted, but it is an important piece nonetheless.

1.) Upon graduating from grad-school in 2007, and even before then, I knew I'd eventually have to do the socially responsible thing and return to the work force. (Those student loans don't pay themselves you know.) Trouble was, all the applications and interviews I had in/around the DC metro area were for part-time positions or contract government positions that would require a very looong waiting period. I knew that I couldn't continue to live in DC on a part-time salary, so my decision to leave the east coast was mainly a financial one. I'd been offered a great position at University X and the timing, combined with the ease of how things came together, seemed to indicate my decision was right. (Does one ever really know what is right?) While I knew I would be returning to my roots (not something I really looked forward to), I looked at it more as a good opportunity to get started in a full time career doing a multitude of things that I'd been trained to do. I was compromising in a way.
(Side Note: When I moved to the east coast, I'd never really set out to stay. I knew that grad-school had a definitive end and as far as making it my new home, well, that just wasn't something I'd really considered. This is all retrospective, of course, and current circumstances indicate the exact antithesis. So, you ask, what's that all about? Read on.)

2.) When I left the east coast, the summer of 2007, I never really left it. I say this a little tongue-in-check, because in actually it is true. I reviewed my calendars for the 18 months that I moved back to Roots and during that time I returned to DC six times. Six. Yes a couple of those times were for weddings, but in actuality I was still spending a fair amount of time "visiting" DC. It just didn't make sense. Why was I spending so much time in a place that I had lived. Was I living too much in the past? Maybe. Did I miss it? Absolutely. But I think it may have just been my wanderlust, which I'm finally starting to accept. I'd only been at University X for about seven months when I started getting the itch. Ohh, that familiar itch. I knew that I would only be able to advance so far where I was and I also knew that if I wanted to stay with the University X I would have to transfer to the main campus. That was a non-negotiable for me. (No disrespect to the institution, I just couldn't see myself living in the UC as a late twenties single. Thanks, but no thanks!)

In March of '08, I read an Ensign article that just resonated with me. It had something to do with the D.C. temple and while I really don't recall the particulars of the article, I do remember the feeling I had. That was, I needed to move back to the east coast. It was a quiet moment and it wasn't actually until the following January that I moved back, but again, it felt like the right decision.

(Side note two: This is not to say that I don't have profound love and respect for Roots. I do. It's my home and I'll always have connections and dear friends there. My family is there. I have incredible memories of Logan, Lincoln Lane, and Laird Ave. I cherish Roots. I cherish it for what it is.)

3.) So now I'm back on the east coast. In fact I've been back for 13.5 months. The second time was a much harder transition than the first. I'd come back for different reasons and the reality of day-to-day living was more a slap in the face. But all in all, I am happier. Living is living any place you live, but sometimes the geography and people make a difference. I could never have had the opportunities for service and social interactions that I have here. For the most part, I like my life. Yes I've still got bills to pay and errands to run, and lonely Friday nights, but I get to experience that all in a City I Love. The east coast is not without it's faults, but I also realized that I'd left my heart behind in D.C. and I needed to return, if not to reclaim it, to find out, for certain, if this was really real.

(Not to worry, I would never subject anyone to the entirety of those years. At least not in blog format.)


  1. didn't ask...but great to know just the same.
    seriously...thanks for sharing.

  2. I'm curious. What made you decide to stop pen-and-paper journaling?

    And thanks for this! I'm going to ask S to let me read the full version. :)

  3. I have to say that our series of emails was very well timed for me, too. Your thoughts on the matter were much appreciated and resonate with some of the thoughts that I've had. After having always anticipated a move back out West, I now find myself wondering about what is really "home" to me.


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